Almost 30 per cent of surveyed women have faced controlling behaviour from their partners in their lifetime. This is according to the latest National Health Survey which surveyed almost 10,000 women aged 15 to 64. Controlling behaviour is defined as an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation, intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.
“During the survey, women were asked if they were restricted contact with their friends and family by their partners. They were also inquired if their partners constantly monitored their activities and got angry when they spoke to other men. Moreover, the survey also found out if women were accused of cheating, and were expected to seek permission before accessing healthcare.”
At 34.8%, the survey reveals that women aged 20 to 24 years experienced the highest rates of controlling behaviour compared to other age groups. The survey shows that the incidence of controlling behaviour decreased as women became older.
Moreover, the highest rates of controlling behaviour were experienced by women and girls with qualification up to class eight compared to those with higher qualification.
Similarly, 30.1%, women living in rural areas experienced higher rates of controlling behaviour unlike those in urban areas with 27.2%.
A counsellor from RENEW, Anu Rai said the most common types of controlling behaviour observed in Bhutan are economic abuse, coercion and threats, isolation, and the use of intimidation in a relationship.
“If you look into a relationship with controlling behaviour, we see that there is a lot of force, lot of threat, and there is a lot of fear that has been generated in that relationship. If I cite an example, (some women receive threats such as) “if you leave me, I am going to die.”
She added that controlling behaviour is different from a healthy relationship where there is communication and input of both partners in decision-making.
She emphasised that such behaviours are sometimes unintentional, making it important for both the person experiencing it and the one exhibiting it to recognise it as unhealthy.
“The first thing is to recognise the signs and symptoms of being in a controlling behaviour relationship and the second thing is coming forward and reporting. When we say reporting, it is not always about separation or divorce or getting away from each other, but at times it is always about reconciliation and bringing communication and understanding.”
A BBS Facebook poll found that most people have heard about controlling behaviour but they were not sure about what it really is about.
“Although the survey did not include men, RENEW says there were cases where men also experienced controlling behaviour from their partners. Now, to restore a power imbalance caused by controlling behaviour, RENEW says it is important to have respect, trust, shared responsibility, fairness and financial partnership among others between the couples.”
Singye Dema
Edited by Kipchu
