For many people, violence does not happen on the street. It happens at home or within a relationship. More than 1,000 domestic violence incidents were recorded last year, which is about three incidents every day. While most cases involved physical abuse, violence can also take the form of threats, humiliation, control and financial abuse, which can be harder to see and report.
Domestic violence is often associated with physical injuries. But abuse can start with control, isolation, or threats.
RENEW says warning signs include controlling who a partner meets, checking their phone, restricting access to money, isolating them from family, or constantly threatening and humiliating them.
Police recorded 1,105 domestic violence cases last year, up from 426 cases recorded the previous year. About 85 per cent, which is 941 cases, involved physical abuse.
Spousal relationships accounted for most cases, with 810 incidents, followed by family and intimate personal relationships.
But RENEW’s data shows that many cases go beyond physical violence.
In the first six months of this year, RENEW provided services to 597 individuals. Emotional abuse was the most common form reported. This includes control, humiliation, threats or other harmful behaviour that can have a lasting impact, even without visible injuries.
“Survivors suffer adjustment disorder if they’re lucky. If not, major depressive disorder or PTSD are very severe mental illnesses that they can get as a result of ongoing trauma or physical violence, or emotional abuse. So, in the sense of the survivors, my insight, they are mentally very disturbed when they come to us,” said Dr Ngawang Samten, Head, Department of Psychiatry, JDWNRH.
So, what drives repeated abusive behaviour? According to a psychiatrist at the National Referral Hospital, it can be linked to what a person experienced while growing up, including exposure to violence.
“First, we try to understand where that behaviour came from. Did the person learn violence during childhood, perhaps by seeing a parent or another family member being abusive? Second, was the person themselves a victim of abuse? Sometimes, they may identify with the aggressor and become abusive themselves, while others may go in the opposite direction. And third, if someone has been getting away with abusive behaviour for a long time, it can become almost conditioned behaviour, something they start seeing as normal or habitual,” added Dr Ngawang Samten, Head, Department of Psychiatry, JDWNRH.
But recognising abuse does not always make leaving easy. According to RENEW, constant fear, humiliation, children, housing and social pressure can make it difficult for survivors to leave.
RENEW says some survivors also fear violence or continue to hope that the situation will change. And leaving does not always end the abuse.
“There are cases where some domestic violence survivors find themselves in another abusive relationship after leaving their previous partner. This is because of the trauma they have experienced, which can lead them to believe that such behaviour is normal. However, with counselling, psychiatric care and psychosocial support, survivors can heal from their trauma and break this cycle,” said Jamyang Kinga, Counsellor, RENEW.
Breaking that cycle, therefore, requires more than simply leaving an abusive relationship.
It can mean helping survivors recover from trauma, regain confidence and become financially and emotionally independent, while also addressing abusive behaviour to prevent further violence.
Recognising warning signs early and ensuring survivors can access support safely can make a difference.
For those experiencing domestic violence, support is available through the RENEW helpline at 1098 and the police at 113.
Tashi Dekar
Edited by Sonam Pem
